Category Archives: Girl

Dogboy Chops Onions

Girl says, Dogboy, can you slice up these onions? Dogboy says, sure. Dogboy slices up onions. while chopping up onions, Dogboy yawns. Dogboy yawns really hard. Dogboy begins to cry. a combination of onion chopping and yawning equals the obvious. dogboy is finished chopping onions. girl hugs dogboy. dogboy hugs girl. phone rings. dogboy answers, -hi dogboy. this is Jerry the Cyclops. -Hello, [...]
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Dogboy Has a Strange Dream!

Dogboy is in dreamscape. Strange purple swirly things float all around Dogboy. Girl asks, why are you building a pyramid made out of pancakes, Dogboy? Dogboy has great idea but can’t explain it well. A silver robot walks up to Dogboy. Silver robot says, can I have pancake, dogboy? Dogboy drenches pancake in syrup and hands to silver robot. Silver robot enjoys [...]
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Dogboy Plays Portal!

Girl says, -Dogboy, what you doing? Dogboy says, -Playing game. -Oh, cool. Is it fun? -Used to be. Higher levels too difficult. -Quit, Dogboy, quit! -Can’t. Want cake. -Game gives you cake? -Keeps saying I get cake if I pass all of the tests. -Who says? -Computer voice. I keep dying in tests. -Dogboy, why you trust computer voice who gives you tests that kill [...]
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Dogboy Puts On a Scarf!

Girl says, -Dogboy, why you put on scarf? Dogboy says -It’s for waving. -Scarves wave? -Yep. As you go through airport security, scarf and I will wave you goodbye. -Dogboy, scarves have no hands to wave. -Scarf will wave by flapping in wind. -Dogboy, you’ll be in airport. There’s no wind! -I thought of that. Dogboy holds up a fan.
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Dogboy Turns on the Fan!

Dogboy opens fridge. Girl says, -Dogboy, what you doing? Dogboy says, -Cooling off. Girl says, -Dogboy, it’s zero degrees out. Dogboy says, -Zero is a thousand. Girl says, -How? Dogboy says, -Global warming. Girl says, -And? Dogboy says, -Dream I had. -Ah. It’s faster with breeze. Dogboy says, -Way ahead of you. Dogboy reaches over and turns on fan. Girl says, -Cold. Dogboy says, -In dream, you were [...]
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Dogboy Turns on a Flashlight!

Dogboy says, -I am Darth Vader. Girl says, -Not again! Dogboy says, -Shazam! Nothing happens. Girl says, -Dogboy, you out of batteries. Dogboy moves to the wall, hand on light switch. Dogboy says, -Shazam! Light turns on. Dogboy says, -Magic! Girl says, -Like frosted oatmeal in summer! Dogboy says, -Exactly.
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Dogboy Reads a Headline!

Dogboy picks up newspaper. Dogboy says, -Shortage of Stories, World Crisis Looms Girl says, -What becomes Monday, then? Dogboy says, -Boring. Lost. Newspaper stand person says, -Are you going to pay for that? Dogboy says, -How can I pay for what world endures? Girl says, -Just write another story, Dogboy. Dogboy says, -Done.
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Dogboy Visits Iowa!

Girl says, -Dogboy, it’s cold! Dogboy says, -Yes. Girl says, -But look: they remove snow like champs! -Yes. Like this. Dogboy curls arms, grabs shovel, says -Ooh, ooh, ooh. Girl says, -Dogboy, I said champs, not chimps. -What you got against chimps? -Nothing Dogboy. Just didn’t say chimps. -Didn’t say chimps because you think can’t be champs. -Well, name last chimp to win Snow [...]
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Dogboy Builds a LEGO Nothing!

Girl says, -Dogboy, what you doing? Dogboy says, -Building nothing. Girl says, -I’ll say. LEGOs are all put away. -Shhh. Building nothing takes concentration. Girl sits quietly. Dogboy says, -Finished. -Finished? I still don’t see anything! -Success!
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Dogboy Groans!

Dogboy gets up, groans. Girl says -Dogboy, you okay? Dogboy says -Yep. I am meatloaf. Girl says -Which dimension this time? Dogboy says -All of them. Girl says -Drink tea. It cures dimensions. Dogboy says -Tea’s a far, far better thing that I do….
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