Dogboy Talks to Ruffled Feathers

Dogboy says, that’s a cloud.

Parrot 1 says, no that’s a cartoon bubble.

Dogboy says, well it’s full of water.

Parrot 1 says, yeah…it’s a water balloon too. it just fills up everytime anyone speaks.

Dogboy says, why does text balloon fill up?

Parrot 1 says, because it accumulates too much, i think there is a hole in it.

Dogboy says, i have a paper clip. I think we should pop it.

Parrot 1 says, that’s a good idea, however, it’s also a bad idea. See, if it were popped, then water and letters would flood the entire building.

Dogboy says, seems that it needs to be popped.

Parrot 1 says, I think so too, but i am just doing my job. i am just doing my job.

Dogboy says, damn the consequences.

Dogboy takes paper clip out of pocket.

Dogboy pops cartoon balloon.

Building floods with letters and numbers.

and colors.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dogboy Runs into Jerry

Dogboy is staring at the cheese inventory at a grocery store.

dogboy needs some cheese for a certain recipe.

dogboy says,- ah this will do.

dogboy picks up the cheese, and at the same time, thinks up a cheesy joke.

dogboy cannot think of anything at the moment.

walking toward the….

Jerry the Cyclops says, -DOGBOY! I haven’t seen you in AGES!

dogboy laughs.

Jerry the Cyclops erupts like a volcano with his talk. you would think that lava might spill out.

DOGBOY!!!!! I have no idea what I have been up to, honestly. been smashing sticks against rocks.

Dogboy says, – rub stick against stick, a joke might ignite.

Jerry sighs.

dogboy stands holding cheese.

Jerry says, – oh! a joke made out of cheese.

dogboy says,- the best kind.

Jerry laughs.

dogboy chuckles.

Posted in Jerry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogboy Waits in a Line

Dogboy waits in a line

Dogboy notices the man in front of him.

the man is texting on a cellphone while constantly making abusive gestures at his cellphone.

The man snaps his cellphone shut while scoffing up a cloud.

Dogboy reaches into his pocket.

Dogboy looks into his wallet. Dogboy finds an old receipt. Dogboy puts it back into his wallet.

someone screams out behind dogboy,

it’s someone on a cellphone.

“i am not gonna do that! No! you can go and get your beloved cousin to do that, i am your husband, not your cousin! what? yeah well. who knows! look, do you want RC or Sam’s?”

Dogboy stands.

Dogboy stands.

the line moves.

Dogboy walks two steps.

Then dogboy stands again.

Eventually, dogboy is………..

(we are unfortunate to interupt this dogboy story because we are we and you are you and fortune at lee, they are them and now I must become I and experience technical difficulties in chewing.)

dogboy avoids thought bubbles.

Posted in Strangers | Leave a comment

Dogboy Chops Onions

Girl says, Dogboy, can you slice up these onions?

Dogboy says, sure.

Dogboy slices up onions.

while chopping up onions, Dogboy yawns. Dogboy yawns really hard.

Dogboy begins to cry. a combination of onion chopping and yawning equals the obvious.

dogboy is finished chopping onions.

girl hugs dogboy.

dogboy hugs girl.

phone rings.

dogboy answers,

-hi dogboy. this is Jerry the Cyclops.

-Hello, Jerry.

-I will be late for dinner with you guys. I have cake to bring.

Dogboy and Girl have dinner.

Jerry never shows up. Jerry calls next day though.

Posted in Girl, Jerry | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dogboy Takes Notice of Flashing Eyelids

This week’s Dogboy was written by Dan and guest writer Heather Dunlop. If YOU have a Dogboy story you’d like to share, send it to: writer@aarondietz.us.

———————————————————————————–

Dogboy wrinkles his nose.

Dogboy stares into space for a few minutes.

Dogboy smells something but isn’t sure what it was.

all of a sudden, a cartoon bubble pops up over Dogboy.

Dogboy directs his eyes towards the bubble.

a blinking light appears, with (type here) displayed across the bubble.

Dogboy realizes that he is thinking.

instant brainstorm, the bubble springs a leak.

Dogboy’s eyes close with the weight of the thought storm.

Dogboy sees the walls of his eyelids flashing and blinking.

His eyelids flash red and white, and it looks like peering into the aerial view of some unknown planet with emergency switch activation.

veins are the optical road maps to this land that is ruled by the court jester who walks the king with a leash.

Dogboy stops thinking. He opens his eyes.

psychedelic.

Posted in Solo Dogboy, Written by a Guest | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogboy Bumps Into a Terrorbird

dogboy walks along a sidewalk shaded by apple trees. he notices rotten and crushed apples all along the sidewalk.

on the other side of the street, dogboy notices a woman on a bicycle waving at him. He waves back.

the woman then slows down and stops. She takes out a pamphlet from her basket.

She walks over to dogboy to give him the pamphlet.

Woman says,- here, I want you to take this. you can flip through the pages. it’s really colorful and fun to look at.

Dogboy takes the pamphlet. the woman rides away on her bike. dogboy flips through the pamphlet. it is colorful and, indeed, fun to look at.

dogboy realizes that he is standing at a bus stop.

the bus stops. passengers leap off the bus. a kid with a backpack. a man with a cane. a mother with offspring. a giant bird.

Terrorbird asks,- say, hello there. You wouldn’t happen to know when the 7R bus will be arriving next?

Dogboy says,- not sure. I have bus schedule.

dogboy reaches into his pocket to hand terrorbird his bus schedule.

the terrorbird replies, – thank you very much! I will now flip through this bus schedule to establish an expectation for the bus to be arriving.

dogboy takes out colorful pamphlet that woman on bicycle gave to him earlier and flips through it again.

terrorbird says, -ah-ha! so the 7R shall be arriving in 20 minutes. thank you very much again, kind sir and I hope that you have a fantastic day!

Dogboy nods with a smile.

Posted in Terrorbird | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogboy Goes to the Moon III

Dogboy sorta runs into Randolph.

Randolph says, -Hey Dogboy!

Dogboy looks around.

Randolph says, -I’m over here Dogboy!

Dogboy notices Randolph, sorta, but still can’t hear where voice come from.

Randolph waves at Dogboy.

Dogboy reciprocates.

Randolph then transforms his waving hand into a pointing index finger toward the restrooms, then configurates his fingers into a peace sign shape, perhaps signifying a couple of minutes.

In other words, Randolph really has to pee and will be in Dogboys company in a couple of minutes.

Dogboy looks back toward the large open glass window.

Posted in Randolph | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogboy Goes to the Moon II!

Dogboy looks around.

Dogboy notices the clock on the wall.

Dogboy stares at the nacho cheese machine located at the very edge of the self-serve counter.

Dogboy is tired.

Dogboy watches the cheese drip inside the machine.

Dogboy watches the machine drip inside the cheese.

The moon is a big hunk of cheese. the moon is just… a big ol’ hunk of cheese. And it wants to be bitten into….

Dogboy totally dozed off.

Dogboy listens to the intercom.

“All shower tickets must be turned into the field desk for switch activation, please turn, um….wait….what am I supposed to say here? oh. oh….so I just read from that? Huh? oh! Oops! Yeah, that sucks….um…all shower tickets, you know, to be turned into the godforsaken devil smitten hellhole that is outside… “

Dogboy chuckles.

(To Be Continued Again….)

Posted in Solo Dogboy | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Dogboy Goes to the Moon!

Dogboy walks through the terminal.

Dogboy takes notice of a gift shop.

Dogboy reads bulletin chalked up on wall.

“Get ready for the moon! A fabulous paradise everyone can enjoy! Anxious to leave Earth? Be sure to purchase liquidated vodka premium pouches! Sample the Blueberry-Percocet Flavored Slurpee drinks located beside the Station Annex Medical Vending Facilities! Questions? Please contact your head Lunar Leader for more information! So ya Think Boredom might be an enemy? Stop by the Module MirrorKat Bookstore for books, comics, games and portable interactives!”

(after Dogboy reads tacked up sign on gift shop wall, a real monotone voice intervenes, cutting off the already present and generic soft rock radio tune over the speakers)

Dogboy walks over to the Lunar Lounge while listening.

*…boarding flights seven zero zero part nine, boarding flights seven zero zero part nine, for duration time seven point five days. All passengers must be present to present tickets. Repeat, boarding flights seven zero zero part nine, …….*

Dogboy sits at the bar, orders a drink, one of the funny moon-themed alcohol drinks on the menu.

Dogboy stares out the large window for awhile, awaiting his departure call.

(To Be Continued…)

Posted in Solo Dogboy | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment